Adulting

I've been an adult for a while now, not just in age but also in having to dependant on myself as for the basics and the more non-tangible meaningful things. There have been really great times and amazing adventures but there have also been really really low and challenging times. This of course is part of the adult journey.

I've recently been going through a time of self-reflection and being more deliberate about what I allow into my life. I've learnt many lessons about myself and other people and the role they naturally play in your life and the roles you allow them to assume. I'm a firm believer that we create our own reality for the most part and as such living mindfully is important. Relationships change, the things we want in life change, we learn who we are through all kinds of circumstances and where I am in life at this point I know I need to play an active role in my growth.

Sounds all soppy and extra deep, and maybe it is but I think its necessary for people to know this revelation. Its a freeing thought to know you control who you are and who you allow to be in your space and how they affect you. Yes, there will always be things we cannot control but we can control how we respond to them. This is not to say, "Be a super control freak and don't let anything surprise you." There are always things that are out of our control, making peace with that can also be very freeing.

This is a particularly tough thing for me to do. I have a natural instinct to want to make things better, not just for me but for others and especially for those I care about and I often feel very disappointed when this is not taken in the way I meant it or when those same people are not willing to do the same for me. I'm working on it. I need balance in this area of my life and I know that.

Here's to adulthood, growth and being in control of your life.

Back to school

I graduated from university 5 years ago and have since been pretty lazy to learn new things and there was also a slight snobbishness in that "I have a degree. I know everything." This of course is not true.

I studied a degree in media (which has transformed since I graduated) and means I need to keep on top of things in an evolving industry. When I left varsity I just about grasped Facebook and avoided Twitter at all costs. Instagram wasn't even a thing. So far I've managed to get by without having to do any additional courses to maintain my responsibilities in a digital marketing and social media position. This however came to a screeching halt when I decided to move forward with my blog and it was dead. No one read (hardly anyone does at this point either). A rude awakening. I did not know everything. The world of media and digital has had a complete overhaul since I last paid attention.

I started doing some Shaw Academy short courses in the evening and I have to say its been pretty cool to go back to school as it were. Im enjoying learning and applying what I learn both at work and on my blog. I'm fairly fresh at this so I'm being gentle with myself and won't expect a super brand like Nike or Hello Kitty to contact me to review their products.

So far I've completed the Blogging and Content Marketing course and have just started the Social Media Marketing and Digital Marking courses (Yes two at once... feeling brave). All in all a good experience, happy to be learning again. Love Shaw Academy as well, awesome learning experience.

Cuddle time

Winter is pretty much here in the Southern Hemisphere and where I live that means things look like a bit of a romantic movie set in a small town in the UK with leaves blowing all over the place and wet mornings. It also means warmer clothes, late night cuddles and sleeping in. Three of my favourite things.

In the summer there is substantially less cuddling in my home. Not for a lack of affection but rather because it gets uncomfortably hot in Stellenbosch and neither my husband or I deal well with the heat. We melt... almost literally. So when the colder weather approaches the cuddling increases and with it more overall affection and often sexy time. Im not complaining.

Warmer clothes are also a preference of mine. Layering and awesome colours of autumn are my thing. For one thing it means some shopping to make sure my closet is up to date with the latest trends in fashion, always ready for that. I was lucky enough to be taken on a shopping spree by my lovely husband for my birthday so I am all set for the winter.

Lastly sleeping in... When you live in a fit frenzy town and part of the country actually you often feel shunned and judged because, unlike all you colleagues and random people you meet you are not planning to do a 7am 5km run in the pouring rain and then have a smoothie for breakfast, afternoon nap and then another run, you are planning to sleep in with your loved one and furbabies, having slow and steady Saturday and not much else. When winter is in full swing even my fit-bit chums cant resist a bit of a sleep in on the weekend which means I feel less ashamed at my laziness and more proud to have converted them with my talk of cuddles.

These are my furbabies, Mya (tuxedo) & Maddy (Grey Tabby)

A little older

It was my birthday on the 21st of March and I turned a WHOPPING 27 years old.

Leading up to my birthday other people made comments about my age and the things that come with age and the typical panicked comments mostly about how my age reflected theirs. I used to be a lot more invested in the panic about getting older and for some reason this year felt a little different. I felt at ease and proud of my new age. This might be because for the first time in my life I feel I'm in an 'Okay' place life-wise. I have a stable-ish job that I love, I'm married to the love of my life (locked that shit down) and I have good friends. I also have a new "Zero Fucks Given" type attitude Im trying to enforce about the drama other people create and want to include me in.

This year I didn't have a party of get together of friends (usually planned my me) but my mother-in-law my husband's grandmother and one of my dearest cousins did come by and wish me. while I admit I was a bit sad that certain people didn't make the effort to come over or even shoot me a "Happy BDay" text I did have a really great day. I spent time with people I love, shared loving conversation and a fantastic meal, my husband spoilt me and took me on a shopping spree (this is huge because I suffer from ex-poor people's guilt at spending my hard earned money on myself).

I think I'm starting to realize more and more (and I really do think it comes with age) that life really is wonderful despite all the gunk it comes with. People are inherently good and sometimes nasty and being smothered in genuine love is amazing and often overlooked by hordes of insincere wishes and fake smiles.

Happy birthday to me!

All the Feels

It's pretty obvious that I've flaked on the 30 Day picture challenge for March (I kinda warned you all this would happen). I'm deeply ashamed and remorseful (not really).

March has been a tough month both a home and at work. In life there are challenges we all face, some face more difficult challenges than others but no one person's challenge is more prominent than another's. All our difficulties are important and valued, at least that's how I feel about it.

There are so many things that can get me down. I've always been very affected by things and have often been told, "Don't let things affect you so much." or, "You can't control others so why let what they say or do affect you?".  Well it does. I refuse to be made some sort of mockery of because I care so deeply about everything. I value that I have not yet become apathetic to the things in life that hurt people or that cause them joy and happiness. I will admit that my emotional investment in everything leaves me feeling tired and drained more often than not. I think about things constantly and obsess over what they mean. How do I find a balance between not losing my caring nature and letting myself get sick over things?

• I've tried ignoring it; no success. I simply don'e sleep in this case. 
• I've tried pushing for things to be discussed and settled, no success. Not everyone required closure on things the way I do. 
• I've tried pretending things don't affect me; no success. I fool myself that I've managed to get it right only to have the smallest thing like a line in a TV show (usually Grey's Anatomy or the Big Bang Theory) set it off and it all unravels.
• I've tried self-help books; no success. I feel they don't give practical ways to deal with the feelings and often make me feel like there is something wrong with me (I have enough of that in my life as it is).

I thought that by the time I was in my late twenties I would've found a way to deal with my feelings, my reactions, my panic, my stress, my need for closure... but I haven't. I go into my 27th year with the biggest personality glitch I have feeling the same way I've always felt about it. 

Any and all advice welcome.

March 2 - Look Down

It's March the 2nd and the second day of my 30 (1) day picture challenge. I'm super proud of myself for making it this far (you laugh but Im serious). I am notoriously bad at completing things that seem fairly unnecessary to my livelihood.

Today's picture is inspired by my very busy day and my love for me job. I love colour. I love apps. I love kids. I love learning. It's kinda the perfect job for me. I took this picture after sitting back down at my desk after lunch.

Here is what you'll find on my desk at any given time:

• My laptop (essential to life)
• My iPad (I use for testing apps and reading eBooks when I have a moment)
• Astros (I need some sugar today)
• An apple (my afternoon snack)
• Peppermint tea (I love it)
• Sparkling water (Another favourite but a treat)
• My stationary caddy (hello kitty pencils, a scissor, earphones, highlighters, eraser, pens and a cat stamp)

More tomorrow. 

XO

30 March Picture Challenge

Since my spirits are high at the prospect of cooler evenings in Stellenbosch with the official change of season, I thought it would be fun to do a 30 (1) day picture challenge and share my pictures with you for the month of March.

Here is picture number one (I promise they will get better and more artistic!)

This is the ceiling in our offices in a historical home in Stellenbosch central

Upload your pictures in the comments section below and share with me on Twitter and Instagram.