A little older

It was my birthday on the 21st of March and I turned a WHOPPING 27 years old.

Leading up to my birthday other people made comments about my age and the things that come with age and the typical panicked comments mostly about how my age reflected theirs. I used to be a lot more invested in the panic about getting older and for some reason this year felt a little different. I felt at ease and proud of my new age. This might be because for the first time in my life I feel I'm in an 'Okay' place life-wise. I have a stable-ish job that I love, I'm married to the love of my life (locked that shit down) and I have good friends. I also have a new "Zero Fucks Given" type attitude Im trying to enforce about the drama other people create and want to include me in.

This year I didn't have a party of get together of friends (usually planned my me) but my mother-in-law my husband's grandmother and one of my dearest cousins did come by and wish me. while I admit I was a bit sad that certain people didn't make the effort to come over or even shoot me a "Happy BDay" text I did have a really great day. I spent time with people I love, shared loving conversation and a fantastic meal, my husband spoilt me and took me on a shopping spree (this is huge because I suffer from ex-poor people's guilt at spending my hard earned money on myself).

I think I'm starting to realize more and more (and I really do think it comes with age) that life really is wonderful despite all the gunk it comes with. People are inherently good and sometimes nasty and being smothered in genuine love is amazing and often overlooked by hordes of insincere wishes and fake smiles.

Happy birthday to me!

All the Feels

It's pretty obvious that I've flaked on the 30 Day picture challenge for March (I kinda warned you all this would happen). I'm deeply ashamed and remorseful (not really).

March has been a tough month both a home and at work. In life there are challenges we all face, some face more difficult challenges than others but no one person's challenge is more prominent than another's. All our difficulties are important and valued, at least that's how I feel about it.

There are so many things that can get me down. I've always been very affected by things and have often been told, "Don't let things affect you so much." or, "You can't control others so why let what they say or do affect you?".  Well it does. I refuse to be made some sort of mockery of because I care so deeply about everything. I value that I have not yet become apathetic to the things in life that hurt people or that cause them joy and happiness. I will admit that my emotional investment in everything leaves me feeling tired and drained more often than not. I think about things constantly and obsess over what they mean. How do I find a balance between not losing my caring nature and letting myself get sick over things?

• I've tried ignoring it; no success. I simply don'e sleep in this case. 
• I've tried pushing for things to be discussed and settled, no success. Not everyone required closure on things the way I do. 
• I've tried pretending things don't affect me; no success. I fool myself that I've managed to get it right only to have the smallest thing like a line in a TV show (usually Grey's Anatomy or the Big Bang Theory) set it off and it all unravels.
• I've tried self-help books; no success. I feel they don't give practical ways to deal with the feelings and often make me feel like there is something wrong with me (I have enough of that in my life as it is).

I thought that by the time I was in my late twenties I would've found a way to deal with my feelings, my reactions, my panic, my stress, my need for closure... but I haven't. I go into my 27th year with the biggest personality glitch I have feeling the same way I've always felt about it. 

Any and all advice welcome.

March 2 - Look Down

It's March the 2nd and the second day of my 30 (1) day picture challenge. I'm super proud of myself for making it this far (you laugh but Im serious). I am notoriously bad at completing things that seem fairly unnecessary to my livelihood.

Today's picture is inspired by my very busy day and my love for me job. I love colour. I love apps. I love kids. I love learning. It's kinda the perfect job for me. I took this picture after sitting back down at my desk after lunch.

Here is what you'll find on my desk at any given time:

• My laptop (essential to life)
• My iPad (I use for testing apps and reading eBooks when I have a moment)
• Astros (I need some sugar today)
• An apple (my afternoon snack)
• Peppermint tea (I love it)
• Sparkling water (Another favourite but a treat)
• My stationary caddy (hello kitty pencils, a scissor, earphones, highlighters, eraser, pens and a cat stamp)

More tomorrow. 

XO

30 March Picture Challenge

Since my spirits are high at the prospect of cooler evenings in Stellenbosch with the official change of season, I thought it would be fun to do a 30 (1) day picture challenge and share my pictures with you for the month of March.

Here is picture number one (I promise they will get better and more artistic!)

This is the ceiling in our offices in a historical home in Stellenbosch central

Upload your pictures in the comments section below and share with me on Twitter and Instagram.

Hello March

It's March!!!

After an extra day in the warmest month of the year in South Africa, February, I'm happy to announce (as I'm sure you all know) it's March!!!

March is my birthday month and also my favourite (not only because it's my birthday month) because the weather is slightly cooler, evenings are bearable and a Saturday sleep in is worth it because the sun doesn't come up at 5am!!!

Here's to all the March babies out there and lovers of cooler weather, longer evenings and Saturday sleep-ins, CHEERS!!!

A Lioness

I wanted to share a funny story. Since I work at a company that makes educational apps for kids I'm confronted with a lot of mommy bloggers, toys and other such cute things. Today it reminded me of my time teaching English in South Korea.

After finishing my degree and being in a strange place in my life I thought it best to leave the country, my then-boyfriend (now husband), family and all things familiar to head to a place where pretty much everything was new to me. I arrived in Jochiwon (the little rural - not like South Africa rural at all) town in the land-locked province of Chungnam-do in South Korea on a Friday in early April 2011.

After a weekend of major regret and despair at not knowing anyone, having very little money or idea where I was, what to eat, how to interact with people (rural areas don't have very many English speaking natives), I started school.

My first period was spent with a kindergarten class (reception), aged between 5 and 6. They spoke no English and for many if not all of them this was their first time seeing and interacting with someone who was not Korean (looking, acting, sounding, smelling, being) like them.

To put the rest of my story into context, I have very curly below-the-shoulder length hair and its pretty humid that time of year. I'm a wash and go kinda girl (like most people with curly hair and a little time). I walked into class with a big smile on my face and once little girl locked eyes with me and burst into hysterical tears.

I was mortified. Had I done something to offend the delicate culture and habits of the Korean people? Of course she spoke no English and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. A Korean teacher from the classroom next door popped her head in to see what the hysteria was about. She spoke very gently and calmly to the little girl about what had upset her so much. There was a lot of pointing at me. I was sure I would be deported soon.

The Korean teacher, who spoke some broken English (Engrish - as she put it) giggled and said so as not to offend me, "She scared. You have yellow eyes and big hair. You look like lion."

The class giggled, so did I. Relieved. I invited her to touch my hair to calm her nerves and that was that. Needless to say I had my hair straightened for the rest of my stay in Korea.

Before (Not my own hair but close enough)

(Half way through my year long stay)

My desktop today...

Reminder: I work for a children's app development company. Xander the dinosaur is our mascot.



http://xander.co.za/